Hi there Reader,

We’re in San Diego, prepping for our traditional 4th of July activities. We’ll hit the beach early tomorrow, likely get a little sunburnt, eat too many sweets, and stay up way too late. Today, we’re “relaxing” (or, I’m trying to get a few things done while my kids get cabin fever in my best friend’s child-free condo. My nervous system is getting activated as they throw stuffies around all these planters).

When I think about days like this, I have high hopes.

Don’t we all?

I picture the perfect beach day….

Somehow, I’ve packed exactly the right snacks to keep my kids exactly fed without giving them so much sugar they crash. But it’s a holiday, so there are a few special things. I don’t forget the favorite towel or the sand toys (this year, my AI is helping me, so I may have an edge… maybe).

I imagine the kids playing with their cousins and not feeling left out because they are so much bigger and can do so much more. I imagine getting at least a few pages in (Reading this. It is the best book I’ve read in ages).

I imagine leaving the beach right around sunset with little fanfare and without having to carry my little one (who isn’t all that little), getting ready without having to ask them to brush their teeth 23 times and with no whining.

I imagine getting to the party, on time (ish), with a beautifully prepared panzanella (my favorite) and then having time to chat with the friends I see only once a year.

What will likely happen…

I’ll forget the right snacks (because I’ll buy what they liked last week). I’ll bring all of the sunscreen (literally 6 different types) and I’ll miss a spot on myself and not reapply enough on my kids. They’ll protest on each and every application, even when I whip out the one they like.

They’ll whine when they can’t cross the jetty with their cousins. They’ll squabble a little at the end of the day as they start to get tired before I notice it. They’ll incessantly interrupt every conversation I have at the party.

And I’ll get snappy because I’m trying to force “magic” instead of just being present for what’s happening.

It’s me. Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.

And even writing this, I know that I’m a little prepared, but I’m going to get snappy anyway. Ugh.

Every holiday, vacation, or big event (even sometimes the little ones), we set these impossible standards and then burn ourselves out trying to orchestrate the perfection. And then we feel guilty about getting frustrated.

We have these grand ideas of what motherhood and our family’s lives should look like, instead of enjoying what is.

So, this year (and get ready, this is CHEESY)...

I’m declaring an independence from the perfectionism, overwhelm, guilt, and ideas that I’m not enough.

I’m going in to tomorrow with the intention to free myself from:

• The worry about the snacks – we’ll have enough, it might not be perfect, and so what.
• The “oh sh*t” feeling I get when I realize I missed the perfect window to leave the beach without tears
• The embarrassment I sometimes feel when my kids are a little wild, a little whiny, or whatever they are when they aren’t at their best.
• Any and all guilt

I’m going to let it go.

I’m going to (try at least) shush my inner voice that tells me I’m not doing enough and wonders (angrily) why I’m so frustrated, impatient, all of it. I’m going to let go of those thoughts and embrace the connection that can come with it. I’m going to let my kids be kids. And I’m going to support them through it.

I recognize that I’ll probably not entirely succeed at this. But I am going to try my hardest.

And I’m starting right now. Instead of getting irritated that my little ones are shooting nerf guns in my friend’s condo while I write this email, I’m suggesting they sit and watch a little TV. And I don’t feel guilty about it.

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This journey of motherhood independence is never done (I’m really leaning into it here and yeah, it’s a little embarrassing 😬)... but it can be a little easier.

In a few weeks, I’m starting my Big Fun Sale. Black Friday didn’t feel right. For five days, I’ll be sharing exclusive one-time offers on some of my most-loved resources and introducing a few new ones (I’m preselling something to see if it’s worth doing, I think it is!).

Here's what you can expect:

↠ Offers that bring simplicity and peace into your day-to-day life

↠ Practical tools to help you embrace presence and connection with your family

↠ And, as always, gentle reminders that you're doing an incredible job

These deals will only be available for 24 hours each, so keep an eye on your inbox starting Monday! I can't wait to share these with you. Click here to get on the early list and get a gift with your purchase.

Anyway, tomorrow will not be perfect. Nowhere near it. But it will be fun.

Yours in independence,
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PS As you're watching fireworks this weekend or listening to kids argue over who gets the last popsicle, I hope you'll take a moment and reflect on all the ways you've grown into this version of yourself—the one who's learning to let go, the one who's choosing connection over perfection. Give yourself the acknowledgement and applause you deserve.

You're declaring independence from impossible standards every single day, and that's worth celebrating (yeah, I know, it’s too much).

PPS HAPPY FOURTH! It is one of my favorite holidays and I hope you enjoy the day!

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