Hi Reader,

A few weeks ago, I lost my phone. Well, I didn't lose it, I knew where it wast the entire time. It was in my friend's car. But she was in San Diego. And I wasn't.

I was getting a few things out of her car and it fell out of my pocket into a crevice. I didn't notice until she had left and well... it was a little too late. Obviously, I panicked.

I reached for it, over and over again for the first day. But after I accepted that I wouldn't have it for at least another day or two, I felt...lighter.

We were camping, so the absolute best time to disconnect. Why did I need the phone anyway? I eventually wondered. I missed a few very cute camp fire moments and messed up an appointment (truly the only negative thing to come out of it).

I read a book. I sat in stillness (and a little boredom). I went to bed without checking my list or sending a few last minute texts.

By the time we were both back in town and I was able to grab my phone, I realized what most of us already know:

My phone is my biggest distraction.

And yes, our phones make so many things much easier -- I am able to stay connected to far away friends, we can actually find each other in crowded places, I get alerts for appointments and due dates, and my Spanish is significantly better because of it. They make our lives better in so many ways.

But, there's an obvious cost.

I'm not suggesting we give up our phones, Instagram, our favorite games, or any of that. I am a big believer in the healing power of the occasional mindless scroll and the NYT crossword relaxes me somehow.

I am however reevaluating my relationship with it, as I've done in the past. This time around, I'm not just thinking about being present with my kids (while that is about as important as it gets). I'm also thinking about the example I'm setting. Sooner than I'm ready for it, they'll have their own phones. Will they immediately be entirely engrossed in them or will they have witnessed intentional use? Probably the first, for sure. But, all I can do is my best to ensure the second as well.

I wrote more about it here and as I sign off on this, I'm still considering what disconnecting and phone intentionality mean for me. Do I need to set rules? Should I have more phone-free times scheduled in? When? How?

Anyway, just a few thoughts as I reconnect with my phone. And as always, I'd love to hear about you and how you've found balance with your phone.

Yours in disconnecting,

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