Hi Reader,

My kids and I crashed my high school best friend’s family reunion this week. I know – why would anyone crash someone else’s family reunion, but that is a story for another day.

Anyway, we’re at the Y in Estes Park, Colorado. And it is lovely. I have never been to a family “camp” before, and this is just 👍🏼 👍🏼. There is so much to do that I feel like I am being pulled in 6 different directions and having FOMO that we won’t get to try everything. We won’t. And I’ll let that go.

It’s our second week of summer and we’ve been busy so far. They have been fully entertained between the pool, waterslides, mini golf, gaga, roller skating, campfires…. All of the activities.

Next week, when I spend much of the first few days trying to catch up around the house and do a few projects that are long overdue, it won’t be as exciting.

They are going to be bored.

And I’ll have a few moments questioning if I should plan something, set up a play date, go to a beach… I’ll have to resist the pressure because we need some down time.

I will hear, “mama, what can we dooooooo?” in my little one’s whiniest voice. And, “who are we going to play with?”

Summer’s in full swing, and if you’re little ones aren’t headed out the door for camp or you don’t have a full, color-coded calendar of activities planned, you’ve probably also heard, “mommmmmmmmm, I’m boooooored” at least 359 times.

We’ve built our lives around “curing” our children’s boredom. They say the words, and we spring into action. Or we overschedule them to prevent it. We’re no longer just moms (although I’m not sure the word “just” should ever be put in front of the word “moms”). We’re cruise directors with the mission to make sure they never have this “terrible problem” of nothing to do.

(On a side note, you don’t have to play with your kids…)

I know no one wants to hear their kids whine. Especially when it’s hot. But, boredom is a skill that will get them through a lot of adulthood – I mean, we spend a lot of time waiting, doing tedious tasks, grinding away at unstimulating jobs….

But, beyond developing the skill, they need it for their development.

Because children who never experience boredom never learn to entertain themselves.

So, rather than allowing boredom to be a source of anxiety or a problem to be solved, why not use summer to embrace it. Let them get comfortable with it.

Answer the “I’m bored” whine with a smile and something like, “great! I can’t wait to see what you do with that.”

See what happens, see what little worlds they create, how they’ve used their imaginations, and what conversations you overhear. And then push it a little longer so they can really develop the skill.

They become dependent on external stimulation -- on us, on screens, on constant input from the outside world. They lose touch with their own creativity, their own interests, their own ability to generate ideas and follow them.

But more than that, they lose the ability to be alone with themselves without anxiety.

Yeah, it’s hard. Sometimes nearly impossible. Depending on the number of times they’ve said it in any given morning, I admit, I will definitely get short with them.

The gift of boredom includes:

The development of creativity and imagination. The building of independence and self-reliance. The discovery of genuine interests rather than imposed activities. The practice of being comfortable in their own company.

And yes, the chance for you to drink your coffee while it's still hot and maybe finish the project you started in April.

The best part? Children who regularly experience boredom complain about it less over time.

They learn to move through it rather than getting stuck in it. They develop confidence in their ability to create their own fun. They stop looking to us to solve the "problem" of empty time.

This summer, what if we normalized boredom instead of pathologizing it?

What if we responded to "I'm bored" with curiosity instead of panic?

"Hmm, what do you think you might discover today?" "I wonder what your brain will come up with." "Boredom is where the best ideas live. Let me know what you find."

I'm not saying this is easy. The whining can be intense. The urge to fix it is strong. The guilt is real. And depending on how many times it’s been whined in any given morning, the regulation to answer without snapping is low.

But, our job isn't to eliminate boredom from their lives.

But maybe it is our job to help them experience boredom not as something to avoid but as an opportunity to see where it takes them.

Maybe the best gift we can give them this summer isn't another activity. Maybe it's permission to be gloriously, creatively, wonderfully bored.

–

I’m not entirely sure if I’m brave enough to let my kids be bored this summer – It almost certainly takes a bit of courage to let them be bored. But I sure am going to try to breathe through the almost certain whining when I say (again!) that we aren’t going to the pool today and no, we can’t hang out with Nolan.

I’m also thinking about how to support you better this summer. And part of that is prepping for what I’m calling the Big Fun Sale. It’ll start on July 14th. I skipped Black Friday last year because it didn't feel right, but I still want a chance to offer a deal on some old courses and offers and a chance to pre-sell a new idea to see if it’s worth doing.

I’ll tell you more in the next few weeks, but if you want the early bird bonuses, click here.

And, if there’s something you’re looking for, reach out. Maybe I can make it happen (and put it on sale!).

Yours in just being,

​

P. We've eliminated boredom from our own lives too. The moment we have a free minute, we're scrolling, listening, watching, consuming. We've forgotten what it feels like to sit with stillness and see what happens. Just a few minutes, every day of this kind of quiet that eventually leads to a little boredom is also necessary for us. Need a push or some accountability in your own source for stillness? Take a look here.