Hi Reader,

You know the story… we’re late for soccer, we can’t find the sock, my heart rate rises… I snapped. (I wrote about it here.)

I’ve thought a lot about the seconds before that, where that tiny pause is. About 10 seconds. Those seconds before we snap.

I know that I can change the outcome with a plan. But sometimes, I can’t access that plan. I know I need to:

1. Notice my first cue. For me, it’s pursed lips, a tight jaw, heat in my face, shorter answers.
2. Sigh. Inhale through my nose, add a second short inhale on top, then slowly exhale even slower.
3. Name it, out loud. Mine is: “I’m getting overwhelmed and tight. I don’t want to yell, so give me a moment.”

My kids respond pretty well to that last one. And on the days 10 seconds isn’t enough, I tell them I need 20 minutes of quiet and they can play. It works… sometimes. I’ll usually get five or ten minutes of peace.

​I wrote the whole plan out (with a little Pause Card for your fridge) here.

And we’ll practice it together, live, on Wednesday, November 18, in my free class, The Reason You Yell at Your Kids. You can save your spot here.​

Yours in sometimes losing it over socks,

P.S. What’s your first cue? Hit reply and tell me. I read every one.